A Question of Staplers
Title: A Question of Staplers
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Disclaimer: No ownership implied, no profit gained. This is a fanwork.
Summary: Irvine needs to ask Squall something.
Notes: For Gnome.
With Cid still off with Edea, rightfully so, Squall was still the commander. And everything else, paperwork included.
He noticed his phone blinking, and picked up the receiver to dial his voicemail.
"Hey, Squall, uh... Nevermind, I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Squall blinked. Irvine's voice. He'd seen Irvine the night before, and Irvine hadn't mentioned anything out of the ordinary.
He deleted the message and reached for the first pile of papers.
Three pages in, he realized he needed a stapler.
"We should have twenty staplers," Squall stated.
Xu stared at him.
"I can order more," she replied after a moment. "Use a paperclip."
A paperclip was not the same.
"Come in," Squall said quickly, bringing the papers down just enough that he could see over them.
He was a little surprised when Irvine walked in, obviously trying to smile.
"Hey," he said, tipping his hat and looking around. "I don't think I've ever really been in here. Why don't you use Cid's office?"
"Doesn't feel right," Squall admitted. And Cid didn't have a stapler, either.
"Ah," Irvine said. And paused.
The phone rang, and Squall picked it up without thinking. By the time he tried to signal to Irvine that the call would only take a minute, the sharpshooter was gone.
Squall wondered if Irvine was trying to tell him something.
"No?" Squall asked, peering over and hoping it didn't look like he was staring at her ass. He really wasn't, though he did still find her whip quite interesting.
"Ask if Selphie has one," Quistis commented as she stood and stretched. "It's not like someone is hoarding all the staplers in this place."
Squall passed Xu on his way to hunt down Selphie.
"Irvine was looking for you," she said, before holding out empty hands. "And Doc doesn't have a stapler, either."
"Do you have a stapler that I could borrow?" Squall asked. "I'll bring it back."
Selphie quickly nailed the board in place and jumped down from the ladder, ignoring every bit of safety training that had been drilled into their heads.
"You came here just for a stapler?" she asked, snickering. "Sure you weren't just looking for Irvine? Y'know, he wanted to talk to you about something but apparently you're too busy."
"Just a stapler," Squall said with a sigh. "Somehow, all the ones in Garden seem to have vanished."
"Hmm..." Selphie bounded off, only to return a few minutes later.
"No?" Squall questioned. Her hands were empty.
"Would a nail-gun work?" she asked. "Things would never fall off your desk, either!"
Squall frowned and headed off to change, ignoring the chorus of apologies echoing behind him.
"Hey," Irvine said, slipping into the office and closing the door. "I wanted to talk to you about..."
He was promptly knocked over as the door was thrown open and three SeeD candidates came piling in.
"He started it!"
"We need an unbiased verdict on this!"
By the time Squall had sent them packing, Irvine was gone, again.
"Need a ride?" Irvine asked, unlocking the passenger door.
"Sure," Squall said as he reached for the handle. "What are you doing out here?"
"Xu sent me," Irvine admitted. "But only because she asked me to back you up on your super-important mission and besides, I wanted to talk to you. Or at you, whichever."
"Whatever," Squall replied. He thought it almost... funny. Irvine didn't laugh.
"So... what's so important, anyway?"
"Staplers," Squall said.
"Staplers?" Irvine accidentally shifted into neutral.
"It's like every single stapler at Garden vanished today," Squall explained. "And tomorrow, I might need one."
"Staplers..." Irvine echoed as he turned onto the first street.
"So what did you want to ask me?"
Irvine opened his mouth but paused. "Eh, nevermind. After the staplers."
Irvine's hands were on his belts, tugging to undo them and Squall couldn't help but smile as Irvine broke their kiss and slid down with only one quick enraptured look in-between.
"Didn't you have something to ask me?"
"After you come."
That seemed about as logical as an emergency stapler run, so Squall went with it.
Squall wondered when he stopped being able to think without getting interrupted.
"Bed?" Irvine suggested. "Handcuffs?"
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