Title: The Horror-scope
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Disclaimer: No ownership implied, no profit gained. This is a fanwork.
Summary: Cloud gets a few predictions for the future that start coming true.
"What are you reading?"
"Nothing," Cloud replied as he quickly hid loose pages underneath his cape. He thought he'd found a part of the Coliseum that was unoccupied, but obviously he'd been wrong.
"You have no reason to hide anything from me." Sephiroth commented. There was a strangeness to his smile that suggested Cloud quickly relent.
"Fine." The pages were thrust at Sephiroth, who took them with one gloved hand. "But you'll laugh."
Sephiroth looked quickly over the pages. "Astrology?" he questioned. "I didn't know you were interested."
"I was curious."
"These things always state the obvious. I could rattle off some nonsense that would be just as accurate." Sephiroth sat down on the bleacher next to Cloud, holding the pages but not looking at them. "For instance, I could say that this afternoon, the past will come back to haunt you in a way you never expected."
A smile. "Mmm, but you expect me."
Cloud frowned. "You aren't planning anything, are you?"
"I'm not. I'm just saying these things could be written by drunken elves and people would believe every word." He waved the pages again, still ignoring the text on them.
"Then give it back."
Sephiroth put a finger to Cloud's lips, hushing him. "Not until I've finished telling your fortune."
Cloud just glared.
"After your past becoming the present, let's see... You'll hear from old friends. And..." He paused, contemplating the oddest possible thing to predict that was still generic enough to happen... or could be made to happen. "Before the day is over, someone will have given you something wonderful."
"You're making all of that up." Cloud had his arms crossed, feeling rather violated.
"Exactly." Sephiroth handed the pages back, never having bothered to read past the first couple sentences. "That's the point. This is all made up too."
"Any other predictions?" Claws snatched the pages from Sephiroth.
"You're going to be late to lunch."
"How do you know that?" Cloud asked as he shoved the pages quickly into his pocket.
"Why do you think I came to find you?"
Cloud sighed, knocking his lunch around his plate with a fork. He was pretty sure Sephiroth wasn't going to try anything. After all, those were just generic predictions, they could happen to anyone...
He looked up into the leering face of the one person he really didn't want to see: Hercules.
"I have a surprise for you."
"No." Cloud replied, hoping that the empty-headed hero would just leave him alone.
"You can't say no to a surprise." Hercules said, looking around before sitting down across the table from Cloud. "Hey, where's the other one-wing at?"
Cloud shrugged. He'd decided that keeping track of crazy gods, any crazy gods, was no longer his responsibility.
"Then come on. It's just a small thing."
Cloud sighed, knowing he'd get pestered for the entire day if he didn't give in. Besides, the food there wasn't that wonderful. He was already quite sick of pomegranate and nectar.
"Well, what do you think?" Hercules yelled through the bathroom door.
"I am not coming out like this," Cloud replied.
"Why not? Everyone around here wears togas. I thought it would help you fit in."
"I don't want to fit in!" Cloud yelled back. "This thing looks like a dress!"
He froze, realizing what he'd just said. A quick look in the mirror confirmed that by taming his hair and adding a bit of make-up, he could pass for female. Just like...
He remembered Sephiroth's words: "The past will come back to haunt you in a way you never expected."
"No," Cloud said to himself, shaking his head. "This has nothing to do with his fake predictions. Nothing. It would have happened anyway."
"It's the style, Cloud. Now come out of there. You'll get used to it." Hercules was being his persistent self.
"I don't think so."
"Do you want me to knock the wall out?"
Cloud silently cursed the demi-god and unlocked the bathroom door.
The smack on his ass nearly knocked Cloud off balance. Cloud was walking back to the main arena to get some sun. He'd never realized how white his legs were before he was forced to show them off.
"I think that look works for you." Glove-covered fingers pushed up the back of the toga slowly. "Easy access."
"Sephiroth!" Cloud pulled away, knowing now that he'd never hear the end of this. "This is all your fault!"
"You and that damned prediction!"
Green eyes closed in thought. "I don't remember mentioning a toga, but maybe I should have."
"The thing about my past. Who told you about the dress incident? Aerith? It was her idea." Cloud had his hands in fists, defensive.
"Dress incident? That's news to me." It was sincere. Sephiroth hadn't heard about that one. Cloud just realized he'd dug his hole deeper.
Cloud sighed and let the other man pin him against the wall for a quick kiss.
"You'll have to tell me about it some time. Or I could just invite Aerith over to tell me about it, since you mentioned her being the one..." Fingers crept up underneath the toga again.
"Don't you dare." Cloud pushed his way free and stalked off down the hall.
Sephiroth smiled, watching Cloud escape.
Cloud felt like beating his head against the wall. He knew quite well there was no way Sephiroth was making his own predictions come true, but...
He looked down at the handful of postcards Sora had given him, once Sora was done laughing at the toga. There was one from each of his friends in Traverse Town, all promising to visit very soon - maybe for the next tournament.
"Gonna wear that?" Sora asked, pointing at Cloud's toga as he read over Cloud''s shoulder.
"Why not? You'd win. We'd all be too busy laughing."
"Don't you need to be going?" Cloud asked, standing up and trying to straighten his odd attire. So far, he'd noticed it tended to ride up in the back... Constantly.
"There's a tournament this afternoon. I'm going to fight. And win," Sora replied, hoisting his keyblade.
"Then go fight. And win." Cloud waved Sora away as he walked across the arena.
"Are you going to watch?" Sora asked, running up beside Cloud.
"Will it make you laugh and lose your concentration if I do?"
Sora burst out laughing, not even able to reply. He just nodded before sitting down on the arena floor, holding his stomach and laughing.
Cloud thought he was safe as he walked down the corridor, only to have a certain silver-haired god practically pounce on him.
"I still like it."
"I'm going to kill Hercules. And Sora. And you," Cloud replied, wishing he had his buster sword with him.
"What have I done now?" Cloud didn't even knock away the arm that wrapped around his waist.
"These!" Cloud snapped, holding up the postcards. "Old friends."
Sephiroth pulled Cloud closer to him. "You wouldn't think a thing of it if I didn't mention it earlier. That's how horoscopes work. They make you look for things you wouldn't notice otherwise."
"I don't care." Finally, he knocked Sephiroth away and stomped off like an upset child. He didn't care how Sephiroth's predictions were coming true. They just were, and that in itself was getting to him.
He knew the day was almost over. And he'd managed to hide from everyone. He figured if he was alone, than nothing else Sephiroth had predicted would get to happen.
Cloud sighed, knowing that hiding in a broom closet wasn't the best solution to the situation, but no one had bothered him yet. Especially not Sephiroth.
And he had quite enough room to pace, or sit, or lie down. He knew exactly how many blocks the room was built from, and had rearranged the bottles of various cleaners into alphabetical order. When that wouldn't do, he organized them by color, then, when it got darker and he couldn't see them quite as clearly, by height.
A quick glance out the small window told him it was getting late. All he could see were stars in the sky.
There was some nagging curiosity about what the 'something wonderful' could have been, but Cloud pushed it aside, trying to convince himself that if it proved Sephiroth right, he didn't need it.
There was a bright flash that caused him to hold up a hand to shield his eyes.
"There you are. I've been looking everywhere. Cloud?"
Cloud groaned. He'd forgotten Sephiroth could teleport.
"Leave me alone." Cloud sat down square in the middle of the room. "I'm staying right here until today is over."
"Are you still upset over the entire horoscope thing?" Sephiroth knelt down next to Cloud.
"I'm sick of you winning."
"This isn't a win-lose thing." Sephiroth cupped Cloud's chin and lifted it until their eyes met. "I didn't mean anything with those predictions. I certainly didn't expect them all to happen."
Cloud shook his head. "I never got my 'something wonderful'."
Sephiroth quickly pushed Cloud onto his back and pinned him.
"It's only eleven o'clock, Cloud."
Sunlight hit them as they lay curled together underneath Cloud's unwrapped toga.
Cloud blinked a couple times and rubbed his eyes before waking Sephiroth.
Green eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the light. "What?"
"What's my horoscope for today?"
Drink Lemonade! Tip Your Waitress!