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~forget regret~

Title: Forget Regret (or... The 'Situation') 
Author: Miss Kalloway 
Email: kalloway0018@yahoo.com 
Part: 2/? 
Disclaimer: If I owned FF7, Sephiroth would have spent much less time wearing pants. Therefore, I do not own it. Please do not sue. 
Warnings: Shounen Ai, Yaoi, mentions of assault and rape (but nothing graphic), multi-pairings, angst. 
Rating: NC-17 
Summary: Pre-game mystery with an overlying plot about choices made and the results of those choices. 
Pairings: Multiple. Zack-centric for now. 

Ryan's eyes were still wide as he looked Zack over. 

"I can't believe... You know... That he was... That..." But the brunette couldn't finish. He just stood there with his mouth open, letting Cloud try to translate his half-thoughts. 

"Sephiroth was in our room," Cloud stated, more to Ryan than Zack. "But he's gone, which means you can breathe." 

Zack winced, watching the pair. Cloud seemed to be the dominant roommate, at least so far. And the other one, Ryan, obviously suffered from the Sephiroth hang up that far too many of the boys did. Then again, not an hour before, he'd been thinking about how nice it would be to be sprawled naked underneath Sephiroth's body, taking it fast and hard like... 

This was not the time to think about that, he told himself as he looked around the suite again. It was disastrous. While he wasn't exactly one for immaculate housekeeping, there were piles of magazines and clothing everywhere. Two backpacks sat in the middle of the floor with textbooks beside them. At least that must have looked good when Sephiroth looked around. 

"Hey, this was not my idea," Zack said after a moment. "But since I'm stuck here, we may as well try to get along." 

"That was Sephiroth," Ryan managed to squeak out, setting his can of soda down on a desk before collapsing on the sofa. 

Cloud put his hand to his head. 

"Ryan, you're a candidate for SOLDIER, not a schoolgirl." 

Ryan glared at Cloud then, his eyes narrowing and his face turning red as he dug his fingers into the cushion he was sitting on. 

"How can you be so calm?" Ryan asked a moment later. He'd let go of the sofa, but his nail-prints were still clearly visible in the soft material. 

Cloud shrugged. "I respect him. I just don't want to fuck him like you do." 

Zack raised an eyebrow. He hadn't really talked to many of the cadets, but he had heard rumors about just how many of them wanted nothing more to life than to have the silver-haired General take them as personal slaves. 

Of course, in a military compound that was ninety percent male and nine percent undesirable women, there weren't many options when it came to having sex. And after a few years, even the most adamantly straight male was most likely to accept a proposition from another man. Most never carried the relationships out into the real world. They were mainly just something to pass the time and certainly weren't looked down upon. 

Obviously, some partners were more desirable than others, however, those were the ones careful not to gain reputations as promiscuous. And no one ever bragged about spending the night with certain people, Sephiroth amongst them. 

"Thanks, jerk. I'm sure that was the first thing Zack wanted to hear about me," Ryan said, leaning back dejectedly. "Sorry about that." 

With a shrug, Zack walked across the room and sat down on the other end of the sofa. 

"So... Do you need help moving?" Cloud asked cautiously, as though Zack would turn on them for being complete and utter... geeks. 

Zack looked at the blond for a moment before a smile slowly spread across his face. He couldn't believe that his luck had considered turning around. The grunts had just volunteered themselves to move his stuff for him. Well, one grunt had, but the other was sure to follow. 

During the next few hours, Zack learned an almost painful amount of random information about his new suitemates. 

Apparently Cloud had left his a small village in order to become a hero. But so far he was barely in the upper-half of his class. He did have his strong points though, and though he didn't have natural talent, he seemed to want to work hard. 

And Ryan, once his obsession with the General was set aside, was an intelligent and talented potential SOLDIER. Though he downplayed his abilities, Cloud had blabbed that Ryan had gotten the highest score at the last shooting range examination. 

After hearing that, Zack couldn't help but think that with an attitude adjustment and some self-confidence, perhaps Ryan could become a Turk instead of a SOLDIER. 

Finally, as the last of Zack's sparse belongings had been placed sloppily into his room, Ryan looked at his watch and announced it was time for dinner. 

Both cadets looked at Zack, but with a look of surprise, Zack waved them away. 

"Go ahead, I have someone to eat with already," Zack said, hoping he could catch up with his friend and sometimes lover, Sine, to tell him what was going on. 

Once Cloud and Ryan had left, Zack wandered into the bathroom to relieve himself. As soon as his pants were back in place, he caught a glimpse of himself in the foggy mirror above the sink and let out a groan of disgust. His hair was a disaster. Well, more than normal, that was. And he had dark circles forming under his eyes already. Surely those weren't from the morning's workout and subsequent lounging. 

No... this whole roommate thing was going to be the death of him. He knew it. 

Exiting the suite, Zack looked up and down the hall once. It looked normal enough. How could it be the place of such atrocities? 

Atrocities. Great. And he was going to have to shower there in a few hours, too. 

Still, he thought as he headed towards the cafeteria, it was somewhere he and Sine had yet to try out random positions for future reference. Or whatever excuse they were using to explain their bizarre relationship these days. At first it had been experimentation, then future reference, then infatuation, then desperation, then release, then... 

Zack shook his head quickly, trying to chase away some of the pleasant memories that presented themselves as he ran through that list of excuses. Sine was, if nothing else, very attractive. And even if neither craved anything more than friendship from the other, it was a beautiful relationship. 

Sine... He'd met Sine, er, Minewin Sinewood, back when he was a cadet, many years ago. They'd been in the same Advanced Battle Tactic History class and had ended up sitting beside each other on the first day of the class. 

Since then they'd shared rooms off and on, even went through SOLDIER testing together. Sine was more of a magic-user, however, and was now assisting Jameson with some of his classes. 

"Then he may already know," Zack said to himself, hitting himself in the head as he made the connection. "Fuck." 

Zack's contempt for the red-haired mage grew despite there only being a possibility of Jameson gossiping. 

Nah, Jameson wouldn't gossip. He'd mention it casually to Sine, as they went over lesson plans or papers or... 

What if they were... secretly together? Zack winced at the thought. Though they'd both agreed that dating, fucking, or doing otherwise with other people was quite fine, the thought of Sine being molested by the mage made him angry. 

Everything about Jameson made Zack angry, actually. He was just one of those people that no matter what, he couldn't even force himself to like. 


Turning just before the entrance to the cafeteria, Zack smiled as he caught sight of Sine running up behind him. 

"Where've you been? I stopped by your room, but..." 

"I don't live there anymore," Zack said quickly. "Which is why I've been looking for you." 

Sine's eyes gave away his confusion. Though sometimes Sine's face was like stone, Zack found he could always read his friend's eyes. 

"You know that insanity going on in Hallway C?" Zack asked, throwing an arm over Sine's shoulder and leading him towards the dinner line. 

"Yeah," Sine replied, pulling his hair free from Zack's grasp and throwing it back. 

"Well, I've been sent there as a protective measure." 

"No way," Sine replied, breaking away to stare at Zack. "Tell me you're joking." 

Slowly, Zack shook his head. Now neither of them had a private room. Maybe he could buy Cloud and Ryan earplugs. Good earplugs. Or bribe them to leave for hours at a time. 

Though, Zack reconsidered quickly, that could get expensive over time. 

"Start from the beginning, and this had better be good," Sine said, his dark eyes reflecting the firmness in his voice. 

"I'm a complete and utter sucker for beautiful men in black leather with long silver hair..." Zack begun, trying not to laugh at the face Sine made. 

Thankfully Sine's suitemate, Kosi, had gone to train for the evening. Kosi was a well-known night owl, and besides that, he was quite tolerant of Zack and Sine fucking one another's brains out as long as it didn't interfere with his sleep schedule. 

"Nnn. Zack..." Sine moaned as Zack pushed him against one of the main room walls. "You aren't as tired as you look?" 

Zack didn't answer verbally. Instead he brought his lips to Sine's, perhaps a bit more rough than his usual kisses. But damn, this was one of those days where he needed any kind of release he could glean. And if Sine was willing, he was able. 

Sine moaned again, pushing against Zack's hands as they slid downward, caressing... Sine cried out into Zack's mouth as Zack effortlessly unbuttoned Sine's pants and slid a hand inside of them. 

Zack pulled back a bit, licking his lips and staring into Sine's dark eyes. The sudden urge to say something completely cheesy snuck silently into his mind, but he resisted, instead watching his friend's face as he gently squeezed the tip of Sine's arousal. 

"Zack..." Sine's eyes closed tightly and Sine clawed at the wall for support. 

Even if Sine was taking side trips with Sephiroth's mage, the fact that Zack could bring such ecstasy to his friend was an amazing feeling. Zack's own erection protested from within the confines of his pants as he slid his hand the length of Sine's hardness. 

"Bedroom," Zack said quickly, wanting out of his own clothing as badly as he wanted Sine out of his. 

Sine nodded, trying to get himself loose from Zack's grip in order to make it to his room. Zack was on him the second they'd both made it in the door. All Sine had was a single bed, which made for some interesting positions at times. But they could do it - they had many times in the past. 

Clothing thrown to the floor, Zack pressed Sine down onto the scrap of carpet that passed as a throw rug. It was just large enough to fill the space between the doorway and the bed, coming in handy for situations just like this. 

"Nnnn..." Sine arched beneath Zack as Zack nipped at Sine's collarbone before leaving a trail of kisses and light bruises. All the while Zack was keeping an eye open for any marks he didn't remember leaving - any proof that Sine had been with that frustrating mage. 

But Sine's body was just as he'd left it, covered in a thin layer of sweat and smelling of arousal. Perfect. 


Nipple between his teeth, Zack relished the noises spilling from Sine's mouth. He was grinding his own arousal against Sine's leg, letting Sine know just what was coming. But he didn't want to touch Sine's arousal just yet. Not until he'd thoroughly tormented his friend. 

Licking lower and lower, Zack traced lines all around Sine's hardness but did all he could not to let anything besides his hot teasing breath touch the glistening arousal just inches away from his lips. 

Sine was begging, knowing just how to play the scene. They were going through roles they'd written some time before, but still each time was an exercise in higher pleasure. 

Finally Zack brought his lips down to the tip of Sine's erection, kissing it before flicking the tip of his tongue across it, gathering the drop of liquid from the end and swallowing it. 

Smiling as he glanced at Sine's blissful expression, Zack paused a moment before taking as much of Sine's arousal into his mouth. He did what he could to relax himself and felt a personal victory when he was able to feel Sine's dark pubic curls against the tip of his nose. That was a trick that had taken a few years to learn. 

From there, it didn't take long for Zack to drive Sine to the point where his cries had the people upstairs banging on the ceiling. That was another thing he liked to do - make sure it was good enough that the neighbors knew it was good. 

He didn't let Sine come though. Experience had proven that once Sine came, his body wanted quite a long fucking before he came again. And while sometimes that was damned fun, Zack didn't want to dedicate his entire evening to sex. 

"Zack..." Sine called softly, as though that would help Zack manage to locate the container of lubricant that wasn't in its normal spot. 

Stupid mage, Zack thought to himself. But he took it back once he realized the lube had only been knocked to the floor, along with a couple of other things from Sine's nightstand. The alarm clock Sine used religiously was at an angle too. Poor thing just hadn't woken up well, Zack figured after devoting another second or so thinking about it. 

But really, ponder Sine's sleeping habits, or fuck Sine senseless... It wasn't a very difficult decision. 

Sine... Not like he needed much along the lines of preparation, but Zack was in a weird mood from everything that had happened. There was just something absolutely amazing about bringing Sine to the brink of orgasm and keeping him there, with just one well-placed finger buried in the depths of Sine's body. 

Zack wasn't even sure Sine was crying out actual words by the time he decided that they were both going to come without any more help. May as well come inside Sine, he thought, even if it wasn't really less messy. Sine's body fit him so well after so many years. 

They weren't lovers, but this was better. No commitment, just pure pleasure. Zack slid slowly into Sine, doing all he could not to come instantly at the tight heat encasing his arousal. 

He was quiet, unlike Sine. There was only one time he'd been really and truly vocal during sex, making noise from pure pleasure and excitement instead of just trying to make whoever he was with feel good. But Sine knew by now that no matter how quiet Zack was, he was having a good time. 

That one damned time - every time Zack let it slip into his head, he found himself consumed by it. Sephiroth. 

And by the time he realized he was thrusting into Sine at an unusually fast pace, driving himself into almost instant orgasm, it was too late to take it back. It was okay though, Sine beneath him had both hands wrapped around his own arousal and his body started shaking in orgasm a split second before he spilled over his hands. Zack was glad he hadn't missed seeing that - had freed himself from his mind in order to watch. Sine always looked so damned exotic and gorgeous as he came. And fuck, Zack thought, the heat around him, pressing so tightly... The only noise marking his own orgasm was a slight gasp. After, he pulled away from Sine, breathing heavily and staring as Sine regarded him curiously. 

"Something wrong?" Sine asked a moment later, after he'd grabbed a dirty uniform shirt from the floor and used it to clean himself before handing it to Zack so he could do the same. 

"I just had a 'Moment'," Zack said honestly, not wanting to explain what the moment was, exactly. Most of them had 'Moments' now and then - those of them who'd seen the battlefield, that was. They'd been apart then, and Sine had seen more action than Zack. It had left Sine a bit off-kilter for a few months afterward, but still capable. The higher-ups knew though, and didn't send him on as many vital missions. Not like Kosi. Kosi loved battle, yet seemed perfectly sane. Just his temperament, Zack assumed. Both he and Sine were close with Kosi - close enough to occasionally share a bed (or closet) in times of needed release. 

Sine nodded, 'Moments' were perfectly excusable. And after all, he did know Zack was having a bit of a rough day. "Curl up with me for a bit?" 

It was Zack's turn to nod as he pulled himself to his feet and stumbled to Sine's bed. 

Cloud rolled over once, trying to pull his pillow closer to his head. He wished he'd bought earplugs the last time he was at one of the stores outside the complex. He needed them. He knew his problem was that Ryan thought he'd fallen asleep, but he hadn't. And now he couldn't. And he couldn't exactly get up and leave, either. That would be horrible. It was bad enough he had to lay there and listen to Ryan masturbate - he didn't want to acknowledge he had been lying there listening. 

And dammit, the brunette's constant light breathy moaning was starting to turn him on. 

Cloud mentally cursed just about everything he could before trying to come up with the worst possible thoughts in an attempt to dissuade his partial arousal. Maggots. Malboros. Pop quizzes. Weapons inspection. Laundry. 


Sephiroth? Cloud pulled the pillow tighter over his head. How could he manage to hear Ryan's moans through the standard issue rock that ShinRa considered a pillow? And why? 

Ryan was just a bit too creepy with his Sephiroth obsession, Cloud thought. While Cloud looked up to the General and even idolized him a bit, most of that had been cast off the year before while doing 200 pushups in the mud during a freezing rainstorm. Said bit of torture had been ordered by the General, who'd walked along the line of them, not saying a word the entire time. 

If you can't ignore 'em, may as well join 'em, Cloud realized a moment later. It wasn't like he didn't have delicious images in his head to masturbate to. There was always the cute little brunette he'd had a crush on back in Nibelheim. And the girls on the calendar that hung above his bed. Because, well, he wasn't gay. Or even remotely interested in other men, unlike some of the other cadets who just wanted to get off any way they could. 

A few times, he admitted, it had sounded like a good idea. But no one really captured his interest in that particular way. At least not amongst his friends or anything. 

Maybe he could just get up and go sleep in Zack's room. He hadn't heard Zack come back yet for the night. Zack probably had at least one boyfriend or whatever within the complex - it just made sense. 

Zack. Now there was a thought. Zack wasn't really that bad looking, besides the handful of scars here and there. That just meant he'd been in battle before. Scars were a way of life. 

At that moment, Ryan let out a low, muffled moan of release and Cloud felt his own erection beg for attention. 

With a silent groan, Cloud reached down into his pajama bottoms and took his warm, hard organ into his hand. Anything but anything, Cloud thought, trying to think of a pure fantasy, something based nowhere in reality. 

Not a man, not a woman, just someone vague and fuzzy, touching him, loving him, accepting him and his body despite... He didn't fight it when his fantasy lover started looking a bit like Zack and a bit like the darker-skinned man he'd seen Zack sitting with in the cafeteria. But not necessarily male, though. Just good-looking, friendly, open-minded. 

And sucking on his aching arousal, meaning it, not letting it be some throwaway encounter. 

Fuck, Cloud thought as he came over his hand, making a sticky, hot mess inside his pajama bottoms. He was really a messed up bastard. Maybe he would sign up for an hour with the counselor like he'd always contemplated doing. Was he even normal? 

Ryan, at least, was already snoring lightly, and didn't stir when Cloud slipped from bed to go clean himself up as best he could. 

Tomorrow - tomorrow would be a better day. Hopefully. 

Cloud was on his way back to his room when Zack came in, looking dead tired and not at all expecting to see Cloud standing half-naked in the living room. He'd obviously stumbled through a shower at some point - his hair was hanging in wet chunks over his shoulders. 

"Evening," Cloud said after staring into Zack's glowing eyes for a moment. 

"Up late?" Zack responded, stretching and heading to his room. 

"Something like that." 

Elsewhere in the complex, things were getting even more complicated. 


About time, huh? There are many reasons I got stuck on this whole thing, the least of them being 'One Wing' demanding my full attention. 
Besides that, what do you think of Sine & Ryan? I like them. Both seem to be not quite sane, but I don't think anyone who'd purposely join ShinRa is too together. *grins* 


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Disclaimer: I don't own it, I'm just playing with it. All titles and characters belong to their respective creators and companies.