This is NOT Making Sense?!
Title: This is NOT Making Sense?!
Part: 2 of 2
Fandom: Dragonball Z
Disclaimer: No ownership implied, no profit gained. This is a fanwork.
Characters/Pairings: Cast, OCs
Summary: Stupid but funny DBZ fic written to get the Mary-Sue out of my system. It was supposed to turn into a big long epic of really fun stuff that would eventually tie into other original works of mine and explain the entire megaverse. However, I think it's even more entertaining to leave it as is, with the ending given.
Notes: This stands alone as random insanity and will not be updated. The OC has a potential demise at the end (in the third chapter, which exists only on paper, she lives!)
(In DBZ announcer voice, with full hentai connotations) After the first round of strangely matched spars, the usual pairs looked ready to get something going on. (End DBZ announcer voice, since it usually just annoys me.)
Goku leaned back against an ancient tree that miraculously hadn't been destroyed yet, while Vegeta sat nearby in his somewhat submissive and childlike pose (you know - legs under, head almost down). Goku looked over at the smaller man, who seemed generally disinterested in the beating his son was getting from Goten. Goku quietly sighed. Something was up with Vegeta, but he didn't quite know what it was. Could it be something with Bulma? He wasn't very good with personal relationships - look at what had happened with his own marriage - but something was troubling the Saiya-jin prince.
Goten had just gotten kicked in the head and had hit the ground hard. Trunks flew down and landed beside him, grinning in victory.
"You give?" He asked, offering the younger boy a hand.
Goten reached up for the hand, then quickly pulled Trunks onto the ground where the two proceded to roll about and giggle in a vaguely cute but also disturbing manner. Vegeta still didn't seem to notice. He just seemed to have focused on watching the grass grow.
Goku took one last look at the teens, who had progressed to chasing one another about on foot, whooping and yelling insults.
He gracefully moved his body toward Vegeta, covering the short distance mainly on all fours.
"Is something wrong Vegeta?" Goku asked, crossing his legs beneath him and putting a hesitant hand on the older man's shoulder.
Vegeta brushed the hand off and grunted.
"Nothing of importance to you." Vegeta said. "And stop touching me."
Goku sighed and stood up. "We're next after Piccolo and Gohan, you know."
"Yes," Vegeta said coldly. "And I *am* going to pound you thoroughly Kakarrot."
Goku laughed and walked back to his tree to watch his eldest son fight.
Vegeta tried to get his concentration back. How dare anyone presume anything was beyond his control? He was simply concentrating very hard on just how to get Kakarrot in his sights. For one of his new attacks, that is. Hentai.
Kalloway grinned, watching as Gohan traded blows with the Namek. She didn't quite trust the Namek, but he seemed to take good care of Gohan, so he gained some brownie points there. But instincts, something from her ancestors perhaps, made her wary.
Piccolo whipped off his turban and cape after smashing Gohan into a nearby butte, effectively making a horde of fangirls (and fanboys) reach for their Drool Buckets (tm) simultaneously. Gohan, himself, couldn't help but consider drooling as well... as he removed himself from a Gohan-shaped hole in the butte.
Gah! Gohan almost stumbled. He had considered drooling over Piccolo?! He hadn't thought about his former teacher *that* way in years. So much for a teenage crush, he thought, trying to regain focus.
It didn't happen hast enough. Piccolo was on Gohan a split second later and proceeded to beat him until Gohan finally yelled "All right, I give up!"
Piccolo smirked one of his fang-showing smirks (Fangirls: Drool!) and pulled a battered Gohan into his arms, knight-saving-princess style.
"Not bad kid." He said. "But what blew your concentration at the end?"
"Those annoying screaming and drooling fangirls." Gohan said too softly for even Piccolo to hear.
"I'm not too sure myself, but I'll work on it." Gohan said, louder. He was slightly embarrassed to need to be carried this way, especially by Piccolo.
Piccolo unceremoniously dumped his cargo off beside Goku, who showed little concern for his son's injuries. After all, the boy was just winded more than anything. Crazy Saiya-jins.
"Your turn." the Namek said, looking at Goku and Vegeta, then settling, cross-legged, beside Gohan. At that moment, both Trunks and Goten came running by in an infinite game of tag. Trunks, however, stopped when he got near his father, and Goten, busy looking at his injured sibling, crashed into Trunks' back, knocking both teens to the ground.
"Idiots both" Vegeta muttered. Goku just laughed as he rose from his resting position.
"Ready for a good fight and then some lunch?" Goku asked.
"All you think about is food." Vegeta said grumpily as he stretched out his spandex-clad body. Some members of the viewing audience reach for their Drool Buckets (tm) immediately.
Kalloway inched a bit closer to her flowering-bush-on-cliff hiding place. This could be pretty good, she thought. But then again, she hoped this would be a quickie - her one leg was starting to cramp.
She looked down at the four not-currently-about-to-blast-each-other fighters and smiled. Some days she just wanted to glomp the youngest two - she remembered when they were little brattss. Not like they'd matured much, their bodies had just gotten bigger.
As for Gohan, that was another story altogether. She almost sighed as she remembered the first time she'd met him and his family. Her grandmother Sarah had taken her and a pan of brownies to meet the nearest neighbors, though they were more than a mile away. The three year old Razza had toddled along for more than a quarter mile before begging to be carried. Sarah had smiled and set the girl on her hip.
According to a carved sign nailed on a tree, the residence belonged to the Son family. Sarah, after setting Razza down on the step, knocked lightly on the door. It swung open after a minute to reveal a handsome spiky haired man.
"Are those brownies?" were the first words from his mouth as he took the pan from Sarah.
"I'm your neighbor, Sarah Kalloway." Sarah said. "I've lived about a mile away for a few years, but haven't explored at all. Not with the little one."
Goku glanced down at Razza, who was partially behind Sarah's legs. He bent down, still holding onto the brownies. "Hi there." He said. "My name's Goku. Who are you?"
Razza moved about a centimeter closer to Goku and whispered "Razza. And I'm this many." She held up three fingers.
"Would you like an airplane ride?" Goku asked, holding an arm out to Razza.
Razza looked up at Sarah, who nodded.
"That settles it." Goku said, swooping Razza up. "Brownie delivery service has taken flight!"
Razza cried out in glee as Goku started running her through the family room.
"Oh, come on in" he added as an afterthought, and Sarah stepped in, closed the door behind her, and chased down the hallway following her grand-daughter.
The three of them burst into a bright kitchen just as Chi Chi was putting several covered dishes into the oven.
"Did I hear someone at the..." she began as she turned around.
"Hello." Sarah said. "I live..."
"Goku! You could have asked before..." Chi Chi tried again, then noticed her husband's cargo.
"Brownie Delivery Service!" Razza announced, from underneath Goku's arm.
Sarah smiled. "I live about a mile away" she began again. "I'm Sarah Kalloway, this is my grand-daughter Razza. I thought I'd bring some brownies over."
Chi Chi noticed the brownie tray her husband was holding on the side not holding the squirming Razza.
"Grand-daughter?" Goku said, a confused look on his face. "You aren't old enough to have a grandkid!"
"Goku!" Chi Chi yelled, pulling a frying pan from hammerspace almost immediately.
He then set both Razza and the brownies down, though not at the same time. Mainly because Razza went on the floor and the brownies did not.
In fact, the brownies would have gone straight into Goku, had his wife not waved the frying pan dangerously near his head.
"Well, we should be going." Sarah said, breaking the silence.
"You'll have to visit again sometime!" Goku said. "I'm sure Razza would like to meet my son. His name's Gohan."
"But Gohan needs to study." Chi Chi said firmly.
Almost on cue, Gohan appeared in the kitchen. Actually, he walked in, since he can't instantly transmit himself.
"Mom, did you want something?" Gohan said. "I thought I heard my..."
"This is Sarah and Razza from another part of the mountain." Goku said, crouching down to Gohan and Razza's level.
"It's nice to meet you." Gohan said. Razza smiled. "Wanna see my globe?" Gohan asked.
"Sure" Razza said. "What's a globe?"
"I'll show you!" Gohan said, and, taking Razza's hand, pulled her off towards his room.
Chi Chi sighed. "Sit down." she instructed. Both Sarah and Goku complied almost instantly.
Chi Chi sized up the woman in front of her. Sarah was a smaller woman, with long black hair in a tight braid down her back. Her eyes were black too, and she wore almost all black, except for a rather curious bandage on her left arm, which was almost garishly pale on her tanned body. She did look too young to be a grandmother.
"Do you live alone?" she asked cautiously. Where were the child's parents.
"Yes, it's just Razza and I." Sarah said.
"Are Razza's parents travelling?" Chi Chi asked. It was the most tactful question she could think of.
"No" Sarah said slowly. "My daughter died while pregnant with Razza. In an accident. But Razza was saved."
Chi Chi stopped where she was. She *was* asking pretty heartless questions.
"Have I told you that my son is going to be a world famous scholar?"
About an hour later, when the Sons' dinner was ready and Razza was finished getting airplane rides from Goku, Sarah and Razza departed merrilly for home. Sarah genuinely hoped that they'd be invited back soon - she'd left a phone number. It was good for Razza to be around other children. In fact, she would have made plans right then, but Goku had interjected about an upcoming reunion with some old friends, and he wasn't sure when he, or Gohan, would return.
Of course, we all know how that went. And how everything after that went. Needless to say, Sarah and Razza never got that phone call.
Razza had stopped asking about Gohan and Goku ("The airplane man, Grandma Sarah!") within a few months.
And life continued on. Razza grew, still stealing away whenever she could to watch Goku, Gohan, or whomever else was currently alive, sparring nearby. She knew they couldn't sense her. But she didn't yet know why.
She also didn't know why Grandmother Sarah forbid her from visiting ever again, other than it was impolite when she hadn't been invited.
Kalloway, the only name she'd used since Grandmother Sarah had died, drifted back to the present, and focused on the golden fighters.
Some days she dreamed of reaching out and touching them. She knew so much about them - all the wonderful things they'd done. Why was she to keep away? What horrible things would they do to her? Really? Would Goku try and over-stuff her with food? Would Gohan drag her back to college? Would Goten lead her a life of skateboarding harlotry? Is harlotry even a word?
Goku. Vegeta. Power. Kalloway sighed. She *did* know why she was to stay away. After all, with what had happened to her real mother an accepted truth...
She looked at Goku an Vegeta, pounding away on each other with abandon. They broke apart and Goku drifted near where Kalloway was hiding - only about ten feet away from the cliff edge. Vegeta was powering up beyond anything he'd ever managed before. And Goku - Kalloway could sense the energy in the air - Goku wasn't bracing for the attack. Did he know?
Vegeta bellowed something and let a huge energy ball loose from his hands. Goku's eyes popped open at the unexpected burst. And Kalloway did the only thing she could think to do. Screaming, she leapt from her hiding spot, kicked off the edge of the cliff, and sailed in between the energy blast and Goku. Six pairs of eyes and mouths opened fully as the woman was completely engulfed within the blast. Kalloway felt instantly warm, and then, nothing. The world was white around her. Her last thought - how Excel Saga-ish, the heroine dying before the story has even begun.
Drink Lemonade! Tip Your Waitress!