Title: Unhappenings #ST
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Disclaimer: No ownership implied, no profit gained. This is a fanwork.
Characters/Pairings: Havoc/Pie, Riza/Knife
Summary: Havoc has a pie. Yup.
Havoc was fairly sure there was no ancient Armstrong family secret recipe for apple pie, but he also wasn't about to look a gift pie in the mouth.
Especially since pie's didn't have mouths and the still-warm delicacy presented to him by a sparkle-expelling Armstrong smelled really good.
As Armstrong vanished from the office to unload the rest of the stack of pies that were still baffling the daylights out of Havoc, Havoc decided that more important than the reason Armstrong was handing out pie was finding a way to eat said pie.
It was an office, not a cafeteria. But there was a cafeteria. A few buildings away. Sure, the pie was boxed up and would likely be somewhat safe in his absence, the wonderful odor wafting up from the pie called to him so strongly that he couldn't think to leave it.
Perhaps it was the result of some secret family tradition that Armstrong hadn't been randomly making up. Certainly, it made the dreary, rainy day a bit more interesting.
After another few seconds of glancing randomly around the room in hopes that someone had left a plate and fork sitting on a shelf, Havoc remembered that quite often Hawkeye would take food home for her dog and would bring the dishes back to the cafeteria every few days.
'Soldier Shot For Poking In Female Co-Worker's Desk'. Havoc didn't think it to be too terrible a headline, after all. Assuming he lived to see it.
He knew he shouldn't have skipped lunch in order to finish up that one last damned report. The pie was beginning to speak out loud, whispering sweet sugary nothings that threatened to consume him in the way he wanted to consume the pie.
Reaching for the bottom drawer of Hawkeye's desk, Havoc paused, listening.
He pulled the drawer out, just an inch, and before he could even breathe a sigh of relief that he could see the patterened china of the cafeteria, the office door swung open.
Havoc fell onto the floor, thankfully obscuring Hawkeye's desk to her as he slid the drawer silently closed. She looked at him strangely for a second. Until she saw the pie.
"I thought that was Armstrong with pies," Hawkeye said as she offered Havoc a genuine smile before turning her attention back to the pie. "I should have asked him for one."
"He's done this before?"
"Not for awhile," Hawkeye admitted as Havoc scrambled back to his own desk. "I have some plates and forks that need to go back to the cafeteria..."
"I'll cut," Havoc offered, hoping the crust would give under the pressure of a fork. Unless Hawkeye had filched a knife, too.
As she pulled out a sturdy-looking cleaving knife, Havoc wasn't sure if he should run or kiss her. But whichever he did, he had to make sure he grabbed the pie first. Otherwise he was fairly sure he'd lose it.
Drink Lemonade! Tip Your Waitress!