Kalli's Journal

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That image... That man...

The orgasm he was still shaking from...

Silver hair and green eyes...

But not Riku.

"Where is that fucking woman?" Cid stomped through the shop for the seventh time that morning, ranting and raving about the sudden disappearance of his test pilot. Finally, as he passed by Cloud, he stopped and grabbed the still-dazed younger man by the shirt. "You don't think those fucking black things got her?"

"Huh?" Cloud snapped back into reality, trying to figure out what was going on. He was still stuck on that image in his mind but he wasn't sure he wanted to ask Cid about it. There were other things attached to that silver-haired man and until Cloud was sure what they were, he didn't want to mention his recovered memory to anyone.

"Stop being so fucking useless and answer the damn question!"

Cloud closed his eyes. It wasn't his responsibility to watch over Bradey. He barely knew her. "I haven't seen her," he replied slowly.

"And those damned heartless?" Cid at least let go of Cloud and walked a few paces away before glaring back over his shoulder.

"I don't control them. I'm sure Bradey just overslept. She doesn't have you kicking her in side every morning." Cloud finally looked back to the blocks he'd been trying to reorganize. He just didn't seem to have the mind for it today.

"Go fucking find her! I want to get that piece of shit ship you brought in fixed and I need her help," Cid said as he rummaged through a pile of papers on the table where Bradey had been standing the day before. When she'd been looking at the maps of the other worlds...

"Can't I help?"

"You're about as useful as a rock right now. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but..." And then it hit Cid and he slammed his fist down on the table. "Fuck!"

"What?" Cloud slowly walked over to see what had happened now.

"I know where that damned woman went," Cid replied. "She was looking at Sora's maps yesterday."

"She stowed away on his ship?"

"Dumb as a rock too."

Cloud didn't protest. He felt like he was only half there. He needed to clear his mind and sorting gutter blocks wasn't exactly the way to do it.

"Cloud?"

"Huh?" He blinked. This just was not a good morning.

"Take the fucking day off. Go." Cid seemed to have calmed down a bit, his fingers were no longer almost crushing the cigarette was clutching.

"Are you sure?" One look at Cid's expression and the answer was obvious. Grabbing his red cloak from a hook near the shops door, Cloud quickly left with nothing but a wave over his shoulder.

Now what? If he went to Aerith and Yuffie's, he'd be stuck for the day. They'd probably even take him shopping again. If he stopped by the cafe, the meddling duo would give him no peace. If he went to Leon's... After Leon stalking off on him last night, that didn't seem like a good idea either.

The alleyway... The hotel... Maybe all he needed was to get away from everyone and just think. Then again, his track record for thinking wasn't currently at it's best.

With a sigh, Cloud pushed open the doors to Second District. He walked past the row of shop to stand on the end of the raised area, looking over the railing at what lay beyond. There was a balcony area not too far away and in a moment of pure abandon, he jumped, arms and wing out, flying...

He rolled when he landed. It wasn't quite as far a distance as he'd thought it was. Brushing himself off, Cloud laughed at himself. Maybe he really was losing it. Who was the owner of those green cat's eyes that were still haunting him? Those beautiful glowing eyes...

Eyes that glowed like his.

As he lay back against the cool stone, he stared up at the dark sky above him. Dark even as it approached midday... He'd been trapped somewhere dark before. The inn?

It was all still a blur, making no sense as minutes ticked by. Except for a few voices from those brave enough to shop nearby, all was quiet, peaceful.

He'd closed his eyes unintentionally. It just seemed to make it easier to look inside himself. And then he felt an odd bit of pressure on his chest.

Glowing eyes were peering back into his when he opened them. Yellow, wide, staring...

A shadow?

Yuffie was banging on Leon's door with no luck. She had to talk to him. Now! After spending all of breakfast hearing Aerith ramble about Cloud, well, it was too much!

Finally Leon, looking very much sleep-rumpled, opened the door.

"What do you want?"

"We need to talk," Yuffie replied, pushing past Leon to sit down at his kitchen table.

Leon just glared as he shut the door and walked over to get himself something to drink. He'd been awake less than two minutes, and already the day was looking to be abysmal.

"I have a bit of a problem," Yuffie announced, rocking her chair back a bit. "See, I really like someone and..."

"I'm not good with relationships."

"But you've been married! You had to have learned something." Yuffie crossed her arms and stared as Leon awkwardly started a pot of coffee.

"Yeah. Don't get married." He reached up into the cupboard for a mug, and once he'd retrieved it, it was set beside the sputtering coffee maker. Hands free again, Leon assumed his usual stance as he leaned against the counter.

"Squall! Be serious. See, I really like someone but they seem hung up on someone else..." Yuffie bit her lip and looked at the tabletop.

"Are you talking about Cloud and Aerith?" He may not have been overly awake, but after the Yuffie's comments last night, that much was obvious.

"Yeah."

Not just an abysmal day. A long, abysmal day.

Cloud would have jumped back had that been an option. But since the thing was standing on his chest, all he could do was stare back and wonder if this was it for him.

He'd seen the shadows steal people's hearts before, and this one was just inches from his.

But nothing happened. Another minute passed with the shadow just staring into his eyes.

"Do you want something?" Cloud finally asked, reaching a hand up to see if he could get the thing to move. Sitting up, he looked at the creature again. It just stood there, head tilted as if it were studying him.

"Do I know you?" He almost couldn't get it out. He didn't want to think the possibility of knowing the human who'd been turned into this little bit of darkness.

The shadow looked him over one last time before shaking its head.

"Then what do you want?"

Without warning, the shadow leapt up onto his lap and sat down.

"Are you a spy?" Cloud wanted to push the thing off, but there was something about the way it was looking at him.

Again, it shook its head.

Cloud sighed and carefully patted the thing on the head.

"Lonely?" He couldn't think of any other reason a heartless would seek him out.

It nodded.

Great. Now he was playing buddy to something that could have been amongst the group that had attacked Aerith the other night. Still, it was almost endearing the way it sat there and let him pat its head now and then as they both looked out over Second District.

"Cloud," a voice called from the railing he'd jumped off. Both Cloud and the shadow turned to look at the same time, Cloud pausing with his hand against the side of the shadow's head. The second its eyes saw Leon standing against the stone rail, it jumped away from Cloud and vanished.

Sighing as he stood up, Cloud stretched before jumping down to the open area of the district. Leon walked up to him a moment later, confusion clear on his face.

"Was that a heartless sitting on your lap?"

Cloud shrugged. "It just decided to be friendly."

"Heartless aren't friendly," Leon replied. He was wearing his usual outfit, only without his jacket. "What were you telling it?"

"I wasn't talking to it, just..." Cloud closed his eyes. How was he supposed to explain that all he'd really been doing was thinking about the green eyes of his lost lover while unconsciously petting the shadow like it was a puppy? That just sounded stupid.

Ice blue eyes were glaring at him when he finally looked back at Leon. Neither one said a word.

"Explain it over lunch," Leon finally said as he turned to walk towards the doors to Third District.

"Lunch?"

"Yeah. I'm going to make lunch." Leon kept walking, ignoring Cloud until Cloud caught up with him.

"You cook?"

Leon sighed. "Yes. I cook. I would have starved to death long ago otherwise."

Cloud didn't reply. The last thing he wanted was to start an argument before he'd gotten to eat.

They hadn't talked much during lunch. Cloud had tried to explain just how he'd ended up with a pet shadow, but the more he said, the more ridiculous it all became. Now Leon was washing the handful of dishes they'd dirtied, his backside to Cloud as he buried his hands in the sink.

Cloud found himself remembering Sora's words. He couldn't begin to think that pursuing Leon would lead to anything besides more of the awkward misery that constituted their past encounters.

Still, as he silently watched Leon move through what seemed to be a routine of cleaning each piece of tableware, he found himself being swayed by the sway of Leon's body, the way the leather clung, and the way his...

"Are you staring at my ass?"

Cloud looked up, wondering how long he'd been idly dreaming this time.

"I was wondering why you don't cook more often," Cloud said quickly, hoping that was cover enough.

"Who said I like doing it?" Leon sat down at the table as he dried his hands on the dishtowel he was holding.

"You seemed to enjoy yourself."

"Whatever."

With a sigh, Cloud pushed his chair back and stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"Then why bother going?" Leon set the dishtowel on the table and leaned back in his chair. He was watching Cloud closely - there seemed to be a secret to determining Cloud's comfort level at any given situation. In public, that odd black wing was always covered. But more and more, especially around Aerith, Yuffie, and himself, Cloud was letting at least the edge of it show.

Leon wondered if Cloud even realized what he was doing, if he'd known he had spent all of lunch with half the dark appendage visible, almost begging to be touched.

Again their eyes met, and instead of his usual defeated sigh, Cloud smiled. If a tiny heartless could work up the courage to befriend him, the least he could do was risk one more kiss.

Leon pushed back his own chair and stood slowly. There was an almost predatory look in Cloud's eyes.

It wasn't the best move, as Leon quickly found himself backed against the counter with Cloud's body inches from his.

"Cloud?" It was meant to be a warning, but it came out as a shaky question as Cloud's body touched his.

Well, it was now or never. Instead of a verbal reply, Cloud leaned in to lightly kiss Leon's lips. As he pulled away, he wondered if he'd done the right thing. He'd probably just ruined their only chance at friendship.

Or not... Leon's face registered shock. But after the conversation he'd had earlier with Yuffie, he'd decided that maybe he could take a chance. Yuffie had worked up the courage to tell him about how she was feeling, so the least he could do was afford Cloud the same.

He smiled a rare smile that Cloud quickly returned before their lips met again. He didn't fight with Cloud for control; instead, as he let Cloud's tongue push his lips apart, he reached up to touch the edge of that entrancing wing. In response, Cloud moaned softly as he ran his tongue over Leon's parted lips before slowly entering his mouth.

The kiss turned into several kisses, each one deeper and more lust-filled as each man's hand quested further about the other's body. Cloud hissed and thrust his hips against Leon as Leon scratched lightly along the base of his wing. Cloud's own hands were both tangled in dark hair as he sucked on Leon's tongue, not letting go until he was positive they were both out of breath.

"Are you sure?" Cloud asked once they'd parted. Leon still had his arms around Cloud and Cloud still had one hand in Leon's hair, the other one carefully resting against the Leon's cheek.

Leon nodded.

"I'm not moving too fast?"

"I need to learn to let go," Leon said quickly.

With a nod, Cloud pushed Leon back against the counter and brought his lips to Leon's neck. His hands were positioned perfectly to tilt Leon's head and brush his hair back. Leon didn't even protest as he began sucking in an effort to leave what would be a very visible mark.

Yes, Leon was trying to let go...

And Cloud had pushed the image of both his green-eyed lovers to the dark corners of his mind, there was nothing he could do while on this world. Besides, he liked Leon. He really liked Leon. He'd been imagining Leon's mouth on his erection seconds before...

Sure, he was going too fast again, but Cloud moved his hands to the mass of belts gathered around Leon's hips, pulling at them as though they'd consider falling away in his hands.

"Cloud!" Leon pushed him away suddenly, meeting bright blue eyes with his own ice blue. Seeing Cloud's shocked expression, Leon shook his head. "Not... No... Um..." Words weren't coming to him and Cloud looked down at the linoleum, sure he'd done something wrong again.

Of course it wouldn't be that easy.

"It's easier if I do it."

Cloud looked up quickly before turning away again and taking a couple steps.

"Cloud?"

All Leon saw was the quick motion of Cloud's hands that unclasped that red cloak, letting it float gently to the kitchen floor as Cloud walked silently towards the bedroom.

Hands paused on his belts as Leon's eyes traced the outline of that dark wing. And then he followed.