Twas the Night Before Advent...
Title: Twas the Night Before Advent...
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children/Villa Welc0me
Disclaimer: No ownership implied, no profit gained. This is a fanwork.
Characters/Pairings: Full Cast
Summary: A bad poetry rewrite...
Notes: Written on the eve before the release of AC, finally, in North America. Set in the Villa Welc0me universe. It's... ridiculous and silly and lol.
Twas the night before Advent and all thru Vee-Dub
The natives were restless and mocking the sub.
Riku and Sora did nothing but stare
As Denzel and Roxas braided Kuja's hair...
Miss Sprink Sprik was fiddling with Dreamcasts and cords
While waiting for visions of bishies with swords.
And Kalli with Ansems, varied and nude
Kept snickering at Reno's innuendo with Rude.
When out on the lawn there arose a grand rumble
of engines and yelling and all of it jumbled.
Away to the windows we all made our way
To yell into the night that these bastards would pay.
But the moon on their hair like shimmering snow
Made us all suck in breath at the beauty below.
Yes, what to our wondering eyes did appear
But three sexy shinentai all applicably queer.
With a little lithe leader, so vicious yet sad
Kalli looked at her lawn and tried not to be mad.
More emo than normal, Cloud jumped to the lawn
And grumbled and shouted and made Yazoo yawn.
"Now, Kadaj! now, Yazoo! now, Loz... yes, you too!
I've waited all evening for something to do!
We'll fight on the porch and we'll fight on the wall!"
"Not in the garden!" they heard Kalli call.
With wing spread and smiling did Sephiroth fly
To watch over his boyfriend valliantly try
At seducing said bishies from bikes to bedroom.
We all watched in silence, as still as a tomb.
And then, barely blinking, they were on the roof
knocking shingles and moss loose with each sexy move.
Kalli cried to herself at repairs to be done
Though she knew in her heart it was only good fun
Dressed all in black leather, from shoulder to toe
Cloud lured the clones downward to garden below
"No, not the garden!" Kalli screamed to their backs
Knowing her pansies wouldn't handle attack.
Their eyes - how the sparkled, glowing so bright
A contrast to swords flashing in the night
And Sephiroth watched from the spire until
In the nippy and blustery late April chill
He jumped into the throng and he opened his coat
And yelled to them all the following quote:
"On your knees, you four bastards, and listen quite well
it's late and you're noisy and giving us hell."
Sprink looked quick to Kalli who looked back to the elf
Who looked to the doujinshi and BL and fanfiction shelf
Then back to the lawn where we all saw Cloud kneel
and undo the buckles of Seph's belt by feel.
They spoke not a word, but went straight to business
Three clones joining in, in states of undress
And watching we smirked, to see who'd come out on top
While snapping pics and vids until they did stop...
Then once more dressed, the boys glanced up to us all
And sheepishly grinned, trying quickly to stall -
But Kalli exclaimed the boys' true evening fate:
"On your knees, you damned bastards, you're seven months late!"
Drink Lemonade! Tip Your Waitress!