A Bit of Mistaken Identity
Title: A Bit of Mistaken Identity
Fandom: Those Who Hunt Elves
Disclaimer: No ownership implied, no profit gained. This is a fanwork.
Characters/Pairings: Full Cast, OC Elves
Summary: Almost the same-old. Junpei manages to make a mess of stripping an elf. Only... this elf isn't a girl.
Notes: Contains slight embarrassment squick, elf-stripping for fun and profit, same tone as the show. Hunted high and low for someone to give this a once-over and apparently obscure fandom is obscure! Reread and edited slightly after a long passage of time, but may still be imperfect.
"Elves," Ritsuko said as they rolled into a small, prairie town.
Mike's presence caused many of the visible residents to scatter, but not before Ritsuko was able to locate a few pairs of pointy-ears amongst the crowd.
"Let's go get 'em!" Junpei exclaimed. Before he could jump down from Mike, though, Airi grabbed his collar.
"I'm sure we can do this tactfully," she said. "First we should see about finding an inn."
"Agreed," Ritsuko chirped. "Mike, let's keep going until we see an inn."
"What does it matter if we strip them now or strip them later?" Junpei questioned as they rolled forward. He frowned as he tried to squirm out of Airi's grip.
"Everything," Airi replied succinctly.
While Airi and Ritsuko were settling into their room, Junpei was pacing through his. After a minute, he walked over and glanced out his window and down into the street below.
To his surprise, looking back up at him was a beautiful young purple-haired elf wearing loose-fitting robes.
"Elf!" Junpei cried as he threw the window open and leapt down from the second floor room, landing in front of her.
The elf stared, speechless, and took a step back.
"Sasha!" a pink-haired elf wearing similar clothing yelled as she came around the corner. "Where have you been? Come on!"
"Sorry," the purple-haired elf, Sasha, said quickly before running after the other elf.
"Hey! Come back here!" Junpei cried as he headed after them both. "Two for one elf sale!"
Junpei managed to grab ahold of Sasha's arm just as the elves were nearing the end of the alleyway.
"I just need to check something really quick," Junpei explained as he reached to pull off Sasha's robes.
"No you don't!" the other elf cried as she grabbed a piece of wood from the ground and hit Junpei with it.
"Hey!" Junpei let go of Sasha and before he could recover, they'd both escaped. "I'll get you both..."
Junpei whirled around to find Airi and Ritsuko standing behind him. They'd apparently somehow missed his valiant effort at elf-stripping, though, since neither of them hit him.
"It turns out that there's a public bath not far from here," Ritsuko said with a smile. "Airi and I will be able to check some of the elves without any effort."
"You just need to keep an eye on Mike," Airi commented. "And keep yourself out of trouble as well."
"Yeah," Ritsuko added. "No peeking!"
Junpei nodded, defeated. "Look for a purple-haired one," he said. "And one with pink hair and a bad attitude."
"Will do," Ritsuko replied with a slight frown. "Come on, Airi. It'll feel good to get cleaned up properly."
"Ritsuko, you shouldn't spend so much time getting dirty to begin with," Airi replied as they walked past Junpei and out of the alleyway.
Junpei had nearly fallen asleep by the time the girls returned. He'd already eaten and made sure Mike was set for the evening - or as set as a giant sentient tank could be.
"Junpei." There was a knock at his door.
"Yeah," Junpei replied. "Come in."
"No luck on spell fragments," Airi said as she entered. "We were able to look at four elves, including one with pink hair."
"But not the purple-haired one." Junpei frowned. "I'll get her and I'll strip her..."
"Go take a bath first," Airi commented. She reached up to pinch her nose. "And then we can take a walk before bed. This town seems pretty lively in the evenings."
A walk with Airi was a pretty good incentive, Junpei decided with a nod. He headed off in the direction Airi pointed without a second thought. He'd even managed, temporarily, to forget about the purple-haired elf.
The men's bath was fairly deserted by the time Junpei arrived. In fact, it looked like there was only one other person beyond the veil of steam that filled the room.
With a sigh, Junpei stepped into the water. He closed his eyes when he settled on an underwater bench and relaxed, paying no attention to his surroundings until he heard a surprised gasp.
Junpei opened his eyes to see Sasha, the purple-haired elf, in front of him. He blinked, trying to figure out why Sasha would be in the men's bath. Perhaps, Junpei thought, she'd been so enraptured by him... but his heart belonged to Airi!
Still, Junpei knew he needed to check Sasha for spell fragments.
"Hello," Junpei said with a grin. And only then did he glance downward and realize that the beautiful purple-haired elf in front of him wasn't female.
"You're forceful, but I like that," Sasha said as flung himself onto Junpei's lap, pressing as close as he could despite Junpei's shocked expression. "I can't believe you came to find me!"
Junpei attempted to back away, but there wasn't really anywhere to go. And while Sasha was definitely not a girl, he was an elf... So far, Junpei had only met older male elves, but young ones did have to exist somewhere... Just... not touching him.
"You seem to have the wrong idea," Junpei stammered.
"Love at first sight," Sasha commented, ignoring Junpei's protest. "I always knew that someday, I would find the man of my dreams..."
Junpei froze. He wanted to be the man of Airi's dreams and while Sasha was nearly as pretty, things just didn't work like that!
But he did need to take a quick look at Sasha's body, just in case there was a spell-fragment somewhere on it. He awkwardly patted Sasha on the head while trying to look at Sasha's back.
"You're... very... good looking," Junpei managed, barely paying attention to his own words as he pondered how to peek at Sasha's... legs.
"Am I?" Sahsa asked, finally pushing back a bit to stand on his own. "I mean..."
"Yeah... let me look at you," Junpei replied, trying not to wince.
Sasha complied, silent as Junpei awkwardly circled around him.
"Would you like to go back to my place?" Sasha questioned a moment later. "Or is that too forward of me?"
Junpei blanched. "I, um, have to get back to my companions," he said quickly. "They'll worry. But, um, tomorrow..."
"Tomorrow," Sasha echoed with a smile. "Okay!"
"Okay..." Junpei said before racing out of the bath.
Dressing quickly, he hurried back to the inn.
"Leaving tonight!" Junpei said as he rushed past Airi in the lobby.
"Junpei, we've paid for the rooms already," Airi reminded him. "And Ritsuko is a already asleep."
"First thing in the morning?" Junpei pleaded before heading towards his room. "And I'll skip our walk. Don't want to go back out..."
"There's still an elf..."
"No there isn't. End of story." Junpei rushed off, leaving Airi staring off after him.
"He's gotten in trouble again," Airi said to herself with a sigh as she headed out into the evening air. "I should have told him that we've booked for two nights."
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