Kalli's Journal

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Hurt

Yazoo kicked at the freestanding cabinet in the bathroom, listening to the bottles inside rattle and fall. The pain was only the dullest of distractions - not enough.

And any amount of pain he could inflict, either on himself or Loz or any pathetic living thing that happened to cross his path, that wouldn't be enough either. It wouldn't bring Kadaj home early, away from the dark corners of the city built on the edge of Midgar... where Kadaj prowled, seeking their ugly, weakling brother.

He lashed out with a fist, shattering the wood on one side of the cabinet. More things fell. Blood was warm on the inside of his glove - at least one of his fingers was broken. He wasn't built to do damage with his body. Not like that, at least.

"Yazoo?"

He'd been too noisy. Loz loomed over him, surveying the splintering wood and the way he was clutching at his wrist.

"I'm okay," Yazoo lied, wanting to laugh. He knew full well that he couldn't just pull away and vanish deeper into the bathroom that barely held both of their bodies.

"It might heal before Kadaj gets back," Loz said, opening one of the now-sagging cabinet doors to dig out a bottle of rubbing alcohol. "But only if I wrap it."

"What if I don't want it to heal before Kadaj gets back?" Yazoo asked. He couldn't help the pout that formed on his face. Kadaj wouldn't bother with something so trivial. Not anymore.

After all, in his own little way, Kadaj had caused the injury to begin with.

Yazoo let his brother take his hand and slowly begin to care for it.

After that, the night wandered on uneventfully.

Loz fell asleep with his head near the staticy black and white television that got all of two channels. If it blocked out the rest of the noise in Loz's head, Yazoo saw no point in waking him.

He paced. His hand still hurt. But not like it had.

When the door opened, Yazoo brought a finger to his lips to hush Kadaj. But Kadaj just slammed the door angrily and pushed past Yazoo, ignoring some sort of soft murmured protest from Loz before making his way to the bedroom they all shared.

Shaking his head, Yazoo followed. Obviously Cloud had done something - something very, very wicked. And in the end, Kadaj always reacted badly to not getting his way. Whatever his way happened to be.

"I can go hurt him," Yazoo said as he slid into the room. He tried to hide his bandaged hand behind his back despite knowing that nothing would escape the beautiful penetrating gaze that Kadaj locked onto him.

"No," Kadaj replied, leaning back on the bed and throwing his arms up to grab at the headboard. "Not yet. Not tonight. I still want him. I want to have fun with him. Don't you?"

Yazoo paused. Clarification would only make things worse.

Kadaj met his eyes again. And Yazoo understood.

Still, using the hand that didn't have bandages on it, Yazoo reached to unzip his jacket, letting the black material pour away from his body and into a puddle at his feet.

If Kadaj just needed to close his eyes and search for memories that they didn't share...

The situation was temporary, after all. When they had found her, their Mother, then Kadaj would no longer seek Cloud's company.

Yazoo crawled onto the bed, careful of where he put his weight.

He reached for the zippers of Kadaj's clothing.

He would have the last laugh.