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Everybody Wants Gohan!

Title: Everybody Wants Gohan!
Part: 0/Prologue
Fandom: Dragonball Z
Disclaimer: No implied ownership, no financial gain, only fanwork.
Characters/Pairings: Gohan, Videl, Bardock/Turles
Rating: MA
Summary: Gohan has massive e-mail fail. Smut ensues.
Notes: There is a 99% chance this story will never be continued. Therefore, you get to imagine all the hijinks and smut that follow this part. Contains Saiyain incest. And a looooot of fanon and silliness.

Gohan sighed, closing his textbook and looking out the window. Videl was mad at him - again - and college was driving him crazy. Weighing on his mind almost equally as much was a new website he'd discovered - a place called fanfiction.net and something called 'Yaoi'. Yaoi was an idea he found fascinating - he wanted to try out a couple things he'd read about. Of course, that would require a trip to the naughty shop with Videl, once she was talking to him again.

He thought a moment - this could get her interested again. Within moments he had logged into his e-mail account and had quickly typed:


He then added a couple of very juicy links below the message and was just about to put in Videl's e-mail address when, well, he forgot it.

Opening up the address book, he quickly checked the little box next to Videl's name and hit DONE. And SEND.

Gohan never noticed that somehow the SELECT ALL box had become checked and his naughty message had just landed in a dozen mailboxes.

Turning off his computer, Gohan decided to go for a fly. He left his city apartment through the window to savored the feel of the wind in his hair.

Unbeknownst to him, friends and family were about to hear the same message: "You've Got Mail."

Turles was busily surfing through an online version of the Anarchist Cookbook, laughing at some of the more ridiculous things humans had come up with. While it was nothing compared to the galaxy-wide information channels that Freiza had at one point, the Internet entertained Turles well enough. Well, besides something called 'pop-up ads', of course. Those nearly caused the olive-skinned man to blow the damned machine up.

"Find anything interesting, little brother?" a voice asked from the doorway.

"Not today." Turles said. "I'm just reading a little joke book - something with shit bombs."

"May I come look?"

"Sure thing, Bardock." Turles said. He was glad his brother allowed him some privacy.

Bardock strolled across the room and leaned over his brother's shoulders, sure to wrap his arms around the slightly smaller body in front of the computer screen.

"Shit-bombs, huh?" Bardock said. He paid little attention to the computer, instead he brought his lips to Turles' neck.

Turles gasped as his brother's lips and tongue traced their way from his collarbone to jaw and back again.

"Bar-dock. what are you.?" Turles began as his brother pulled the office chair away from the desk and snatched the younger man from it. They both fell to the floor where Turles was quickly silenced by a hot mouth against his.

Turles pushed his elder brother away, gasping for breath.

"What's wrong little one?" Bardock asked, lightly brushing one hand down his brother's face. There was a slight smirk on his lips. Turles was not going to get out of this, no matter how interesting the damned buzzing machine was.

"Nothing." Turles said. "I just couldn't breathe."

"And would you expect anything less?" Bardock asked, closing the small distance between bodies in a split second, one arm like steel around Turles.

"Not from you, brother."

"I thought as much."

"Stop thinking and fuck me, if that's what you intend to do." Turles said, grinding lightly against the body beside his.

No further invitation was needed. Bardock shoved the younger man onto his back and kissed him deeply. Mid-kiss, Turles moved on hand to the back of Bardock's head, the other to the base of Bardock's tail, which was still wrapped around his waist.

While Bardock was quite near trying to touch Turles' tonsils with his tongue, Turles was gently loosing his brother's tail and stroking softy against the fur. Bardock let loose a soft growl, and freed his captive's mouth. Of course, this was only to latch on to a particularly delicious looking area of Turles' neck. The bottom saiya-jin moaned loudly as he felt teeth graze his skin. There would be rather obvious marks later. Especially since Bardock seemed to be avoiding the areas his dark green tank top covered.

Turles let his hands fall to the carpet. He wanted to enjoy this fully - it wasn't too often his brother took this good of care of him.

Bardock leisurely untucked the offending shirt and reached one strong hand up to pinch a hard nipple, pleased with the reaction of the man under him. One quick glance showed him to be very aroused.

In one swift motion, Bardock was off to the side and fumbling with Turles' beige cargo pants with both hands.

"Damned things." he grumbled. Turles had a hard time suppressing a laugh.

"Is that why the great Bardock usually is seen in sweatpants - he can't master a button and zipper?"

Bardock playfully swatted his brother in the arm before finally undoing the cargo pants. "Sweatpants don't require a higher education when I want to fuck you."

And with that and a swift tug, both pants and Turles' fuzzy slippers were sent across the room. Turles hadn't bothered with underwear, which left his arousal completely unguarded. Bardock grinned. "All this for me?"

Turles nodded and let out a sharp gasp when Bardock eased down and licked the couple drops of pre-come off the tip of his hardness. The older man looked straight from a porn video, gazing up at his co-star and seductively running his tongue up and down.

Turles shuddered, this teasing was infinitely cruel.

"Aaah.. Mmmhhh. Bahhh.duh..dock."

"Want something more?"

Turles nodded somewhat shakily as Bardock took him into his warm mouth. He knew his brother could be a bastard - he just hoped.

Bardock chose that moment to prove he *could* deep throat his brother's near-exploding cock. Turles just stopped thinking entirely.

With his little brother's cock, um, out of his hands for a moment, Bardock took the chance to pull a small tube out of his pocket. He quickly, without even needing to look, managed to get a reasonable amount into one hand.

Turles felt his thighs being nudged apart. Well, whatever, he thought, as nailed lightly raked down his testicles. Damn.

Bardock growled again - and it was too much for the man beneath him. Turles' brain shut down entirely as he exploded into his brother's mouth.

The next thing Turles knew, something had thrust between his buttocks and inside him. Bardock looked up at his brother and licked his lips seductively. Turles grinned back, despite the invasion.

"Looks like you haven't managed to rid yourself of those pants yet."

For that, Turles got another two fingers added to the first. He arched his back and moaned in slight pain before one of those fingers struck the right spot.

"Gaaahh! Brother!"



"Hhnnn." Bardock grunted, removed his fingers, and stood up.

"No! Brother, PLEASE!" Turles cried, panting.

Bardock slowly removed his blue sweatpants, skillfully untangling his tail from the material. His arousal was rock hard and absolutely gleaming at the tip. He deliberately stroked himself, spreading the last bit of lube. Turles moaned at the sight.

"Spread your legs more." Bardock said as he sank to his knees.

Something clicked in Turles' head - "Wait. I don't want carpet burn again."

Bardock laughed, and ungracefully rolled his brother over. With a sharp yank on his hips, Turles ass was right at his cock. Turles shook his ass slightly, rubbing deliciously on the tip.

Without hesitation, Bardock spread the cheeks before him and thrust. Turles howled at the invasion, but quickly moved back against his brother. Bardock pulled himself out to the tip and thrust again, this time hitting Turles just right. The younger man near collapsed beneath him, gasping for breath. This was perfect. The elder grabbed the hips in front of him and started a very fast rhythm, almost every thrust hit Turles perfectly. Soon the man beneath him was screaming to get it harder.

Turles was near exploding again - it was amazing what his brother could do for him - but he dared not try and touch himself. He'd just have to hope.

Bardock released his death-grip on Turles' hips and reached an arm around to grasp a fresh erection. The other hand moved to the base of the tail just in front of the delicious ass he was. Bardock shook that thought free - he wanted to hear his brother scream agaain first.

Turles let out another room shaking howl when a pair of firm hands began stroking him on either side. That was it - he screamed andcame rather unceremoniously onto his brother's hand and that damned olive shirt.

Bardock felt the body beneath his begin spasming and gave in, thrusting with near abandon until he came moments later.

The two exhausted men collapsed in a sweaty and sticky heap. The first thing Bardock noticed was a very faint noise - clapping?

He rolled over, and sure enough, there in the doorway was his eldest brat - Radditz.

"Good show." Radditz said, smirking slightly. "Ever heard of a bedroom, with a door? Not that it matters." He shifted his mass to the other foot. "I think the whole house heard you."

Bardock did the best fatherly glare he could, for laying naked in a communal room after fucking his brother, that is.

"Anyway, when you two manage to clean-up, dinner is ready." And with that the long-haired saiya-jin turned and walked off down the hallway.

The two panting men looked at each other for a moment. Turles shrugged. "Your kid, not mine."

"Whatever." Bardock said. Suddenly he got an idea. Before Turles could stop him, he ripped the already soiled olive shirt clear off and used it to wipe the excess semen and lubricant from his body.

"Hey!" Turles said, trying to grab the shirt back.

"Clean up." Bardock said, letting Turles get the shirt. He stood up, wavering slightly, and managed to pull his sweatpants back on.

Turles lay back on the floor. "In a moment."

"I'm not going to save you any." Bardock said, and with that, and some help from anything he could support himself on, Bardock went to dinner.

Turles was still laying on the floor, half-assed mopping up the mess on himself, when he heard it.

"You've Got Mail."

That piqued his interest. Heaving the shirt to a corner of the room, Turles donned his cargo pants and sat back in the office chair. One quick bump had the Trigun screensaver off and a couple clicks had a rather peculiar message from his nephew's son onscreen.

Fan Fiction Dot Net?

Click. Click.

Turles scanned the content of a couple of the links Gohan had sent. His face turned purple. Gohan wanted to do this? With him? Well, as long as he was on the giving end, he was going to pay the boy a visit later.


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Disclaimer: I don't own it, I'm just playing with it. All titles and characters belong to their respective creators and companies.